SHMOOZE NEWS: Zeitgeist Bowl!

First of all, have you been coached by #kidpresident?  If not, watch now!!  And be your awesomest.  (He is! <— for anyone who cynically thought he was just a hired actor.) (Like I maybe did.)

1. THE SUPER BOWL All right, game day’s coming up this Sunday and whether you’re watching for the commercials, the half-time Beyonce lip sync part deux or… what was the other thing?… here’s the deal with what’s gonna be jockied about when you’re digging into the guac with your jockiest pals.  (And apologies ahead of time to my international readers — this is how America does its sport with the pigskin & the dudes with the concussions.)

SATP brain damageAND don’t worry, for those of you gagging already at the mention of football — think of it as a mirror that reflects back the anxieties of our day… and scroll straight to 2.

So, two teams are going to bat — metaphorically — in New Orleans this weekend: the San Francisco 49ers & the Baltimore Ravens (named, as it turns out, for Edgar Allen Poe‘s poem — in honor of the fact that Poe died and is buried in Baltimore… which is about as morbid as he’d like it).  The Ravens wear blue & white and are a newish team (like 50 years younger than the Niners) and they’ve won the Super Bowl once before.  They have this Kaepernick dude people talk about, who kisses his biceps a lot, and this Ray Lewis dude, who’s just announced his retirement.  The Niners are named for the ol’ California gold rush of 1849 and they’re the ones wearing red & gold (I’m guessing the colors represent the treasure struck… and the blood shed upon killing the lucky ‘niner and making off with his bootie.  Just trying to keep in the Poe spirit).  The 49ers have won five Super Bowls — and more impressively, have never lost one.  If you wanna get all cozy with their players, here’s your homework.

harbowlAlso, the coaches with matching neck tension are brothers, which is pretty statistically unlikely so people got really excited to discuss it… and then really excited to never discuss it again.

2. Okay, sure sure… but what’s the Super Bowl gotta do with life?  Here goes.

A) There’s a lot of prickly discussion about homophobia this go around & hints, at least, that times are a-changin’.  The Ravens’ Brandon Ayanbadejo has been “leveraging the biggest sports stage in the world” to talk marriage equality (shout-out to my hometown — he credits his upbringing for his stance on equal rights, including time spent in Santa Cruz, CA!  Damn straight… but not narrow.  Wha-what!).  On the other hand, some Niners actually participated in the “It Gets Better” campaign speaking out against bullying of LGBT youths and are now denying it.  Like… do they know how video works?

SATP boy scouts
Talking about which… CLICK if you wanna help the cause.

B) Not to be all sensationalistic, but in case you get a whiff of chatter about deer antler spray, this is what they’re talking about.  The performance enhancing drug war rages on, but this time it’s totally natural… I mean, what’s more natural than killing New Zealand deer & cooking down the growth hormones in their antlers for human consumption??

C) Body image issues!  A cheerleader was supposedly barred from performing for the Ravens because she gained… two pounds.  Or so she says.

D) Bob Costas has some VERY smart things to say about gun culture among football players… and guy stuff.

SATP guns guy stuffE) This showdown on Sunday ain’t just anywhere in New Orleans — it’s at the Superdome and that’s not sitting well with some peeps… like, everyone in the 99%.  As this journalist notes:

Less than eight years ago Hurricane Katrina devastated the Gulf Coast and the Superdome became a stirring symbol of the city’s gross inequities. Many of those residents have yet to return to New Orleans and most remain mired in poverty, yet the Super Bowl is the ultimate display of wealth and spectacle.

And finally, F) Talking about that spectacle… the ads for Super Bowl are always totally above average.  But also, totally consumeristic Americana and make me feel dirty.  Preach it, Banksy:

SATP banksy cokeAre you looking forward to the game/everything around the game except the game?  What’s your favorite part?

3. Hey — do something nice for someoneLike this kid did.


Quote of the week, ‘cuz the Dude knows what’s up:

SATP hungry children jeff bridges

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