SHMOOZE NEWS: Raw Chicken Only Thing Worse For Us Than GOP

SATP sasquatchYeah, it’s been a big week for hashing out what exactly we get to blame on WASHINGTON, and what exactly GOVERNMENT even means.

As in “this stupid shutdown proves that the government sucks!”

Um, nope.  Not the most accurate statement we could make.  Just listen to Senator Elizabeth Warren, who continues to blow our minds with her tellin’-it-like-it-is-ness this week:

As she says, “in our democracy ‘government’ is just how we describe the things that we the people have already decided to do together.”  Boom.  So if you’re a senator and you’re throwing a hissy fit about what’s already been decided ‘cuz it doesn’t happen to serve your interests, well, congrats, you get Miley Cyrus mocking you in song.  But you also get amazing articles written about the fact that you’re on the wrong side of history.  And you also get Jon Stewart parsing the metaphors and pointing our you’re basically an arsonist.

SATP capitol buildingAnd what do we the people get?  Well, salmonella actually.  Yeah, a week without government pay for food safety personnel is no joke, y’all.  Click here for the link and the grossest image of raw chicken ever (okay, I’m a vegetarian so basically that’s any image of raw chicken).  And, relatedly, we get moooore than a little pissed, all over the internet:

Screen Shot 2013-10-10 at 10.09.15 PMAs of press time, the GOP and Obama are talking (seriously, that’s news) and apparently the GOP is offering a few concessions on ye olde wild west budget standoff to drive the tumbleweeks away.  Words like “useful” and “productive” are actually being bandied about.  Oh, also: whenever you next find yourself in the mood for understanding the latest incarnation of our national budget crisis a little better (when AREN’T we??), check out The Onion‘s explanation.  How high is this so-called debt ceiling, you may ask?  “Just like normal ceiling height.”   Yup, sounds about right.

SATP return wars

Okay, enough of all that.  What do we really need to get through the weekend?   I say (and I’m apparently not alone <– awesome little article on how we millennials like our news) there’s nothin’ like a good cure for Imposter Syndrome, a little light Malcolm Gladwell (got to hear him speak live this week and am now an unapologetic gusher), and some really cheesy but delicious nerd jokes.  (Ex. The first rule of Tautology Club, is the first rule of Tautology Club.) (Ex. 2 A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says “make me one with everything.”) And of course it’s time to start the Halloween brainstorming!!  Post your favorite costume links, guys — for good or ill.  Are racist/culturally insensitive costumes a definite no-no or do we not need to go around censoring Halloween costumes like PCification of the holiday is the latest culture war?  Leave a comment below — and have fabulous (three day??) weekends, all!

SATP cacti

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